Found Letter: The Knight of the Night

23 Dec

found-letter1

So apparently some knight left this in my parking lot yesterday and what kind of a friend would I be if I did not share some of the chivalrous swashbuckling of the pen that this man has used to seduce what must be thousands of beautiful maidens? The last time I submitted something to Found Magazine, I don’t think it ever made it public and the world would be done a disservice if that story were replicated. So go on, young knights-in-training, and use this missive as a lesson for how we can all be just a little bit better at attracting the fairer sex. Hell, if you’re lucky, you may even be able to get Sir Schell to mentor you–if he has time to return your letter that is. And for all you ladies: remember, “Fine Bitchs Only 4 Pen Pal,” so don’t even try and front.

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2 Responses to “Found Letter: The Knight of the Night”

  1. Sir Garrett Schell December 23, 2008 at 11:58 am #

    You rapscallion! I challenge you to an honor duel!!

  2. dr. lovetron December 23, 2008 at 12:00 pm #

    I know that kid from middle school. Like for real. Middle school. This kid was like a 4’11” wannabe gansta in 93 & I see little has changed. At least he’s not a fucking new jack… I wonder if he’s still tiny enough to fit in a kangaroo’s pouch.

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